Treatment GuideJust DiagnosedSex & DatingAfrican AmericanStigmaAsk the HIV DocPrEP En EspañolNewsVoicesPrint IssueVideoOut 100
CONTACTCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
'Will I ever be happy?' That's a question I often hear, and it has a special meaning for those of us living with HIV, especially the men and women who've been fighting exhausting battles against the disease for several years. For too many of us, being HIV-positivemeant struggling every day just to stay alive. Happiness wasn't even on the radar screen. But we have experienced incredible progress in HIV treatment, and what was once a bleak future is now one filled with all kinds of possibilities. In a way, when you think about how far we've come from those days when survival was our overriding concern, the desire for happiness truly is a gift. And that's something to celebrate! So if you find yourself asking the 'happy' question, I encourage you to think of the desire for happiness not as a sign of what's bad or missing in your life but as a voice inside you that's saying, 'It's time to have more.' And then, get moving. 1) Start by telling yourself that you don't have to settle. Still have that voice of Mom or Dad telling you to stop complaining and be happy with what you've got? If you're giving in to this, you might be your own worst enemy when it comes to your happiness. Tell yourself that you have the right to grab all that life has to offer. This is the beginning of figuring out what it's going to take to get what you want. 2) Recognize the moments of joy that each day brings. True happiness doesn't hit like a lightning bolt or a million-dollar lottery jackpot. Life is full of smaller pleasures, like enjoying beautiful weather, checking in with someone you care about, or taking time to do something you enjoy. Being conscious of life's little joys can take you a long way to feeling happier. 3) Write down what's bothering you, and then rewrite it. Is there something on your mind that's making you unhappy? Ask yourself, 'Do I have any control over this situation?' If the answer is yes, determine what you can do to change it. If the answer is no, it's time to stop beating yourself up and move on. 4) Ignore the 'minuses' column. Stop thinking about happiness in terms of things you don't have. Lose the pessimism; focus on what's in your 'pluses' column'and how you can add to it. 5) Set priorities. Make a list of what you want from your life in terms of relationships, financial security, healthy living, and more. Then decide which of those goals to tackle first. (You might want to talk to a mental health professional to help you get started.) The bottom line is that your happiness is in your hands. Open up to your own potential and celebrate. You'll be glad you did. McClain is a licensed counselor in New York City with a specialty in coping with chronic and life-threatening health conditions. His books include The Complete Idiot's Guide to Breaking Bad Habits and Empowering Your Life With Joy, and he is a frequent contributor to health-related publications.
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
The science behind U=U has been liberating people with HIV for years
June 04 2024 3:31 PM
As Pride party season begins, the CDC urges mpox vaccinations
May 16 2024 6:52 PM
Exclusive: We kiki with Q from 'RuPaul's Drag Race'
June 24 2024 11:37 AM
The freedom of disclosure: David Anzuelo's journey through HIV, art, and advocacy
August 02 2024 12:21 PM
The Talk: Thriving with HIV
May 08 2024 10:45 AM
The Talk: What HIV isn’t
May 07 2024 10:48 AM
Activist and philanthropist Bruce Bastian dies at 76
June 26 2024 1:28 PM
In honor of Juneteenth 2024, meet The Normal Anomaly
June 19 2024 1:39 PM
Plus: Featured Video
Latest Stories
Meet our Health Hero of the Year, Armonté Butler
October 21 2024 12:53 PM
AIDS/LifeCycle is ending after more than 30 years
October 17 2024 12:40 PM
Twice-yearly injectable lenacapavir, an HIV-prevention drug, reduces risk by 96%
October 15 2024 5:03 PM
How fitness coach Tyriek Taylor reclaims his power from HIV with self-commitment
September 19 2024 12:00 PM
Out100 Honoree Tony Valenzuela thanks queer and trans communities for support in his HIV journey
September 18 2024 12:00 PM
Kentucky bans conversion therapy for youth as Gov. Andy Beshear signs 'monumental' order
September 18 2024 11:13 AM
Why activist Raif Derrazi thinks his HIV diagnosis is a gift
September 17 2024 12:00 PM
Creator and host Karl Schmid fights HIV stigma with knowledge
September 12 2024 12:03 PM
Study finds use of puberty blockers safe and reversible, countering anti-trans accusations
September 11 2024 1:11 PM
Latinx health tips / Consejos de salud para latinos (in English & en espanol)
September 10 2024 4:29 PM
The Trevor Project receives $5M grant to support LGBTQ+ youth mental health in rural Midwest (exclusive)
September 03 2024 9:30 AM
Introducing 'Health PLUS Wellness': The Latinx Issue!
August 30 2024 3:06 PM
La ciencia detrás de U=U ha estado liberando a las personas con VIH durante años
August 23 2024 2:48 PM
Tratamiento y prevención del VIH por inyección: Todo lo que necesita saber
August 23 2024 2:41 PM
Sr. Gay World quiere asegurarse de que estés bien
August 23 2024 2:30 PM
Eureka is taking a break from competing on 'Drag Race' following 'CVTW' elimination
August 20 2024 12:21 PM
With a new case in Sweden, what is the new mpox outbreak and should you be concerned?
August 15 2024 4:48 PM
From ‘The Real World’ to real life: How Danny Roberts thrives with HIV
July 31 2024 5:23 PM